2.27.18 22

The Power of Saying No

I’m a people’s pleaser. Always have been and probably always will be… As you can imagine, for most of my life the power of saying no was not something I could even fathom. Well, until recently.

Over the course of last year, I have lost a handful of friends just because I said no. And it got me thinking.

I’m 27 years old and just now I’m starting to realize how valuable my time is. The time I spent on doing multiple jobs, nurturing friendships all over the country, plus spending quality time with my partner at home – better be used wisely at this point. And see what I did here? I forgot to even mention my ME time.

photography by Nikki Neumann

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So now back to the power of saying no. I lost friendships recently simply because I said “no, I can’t do this right now but ask me in a couple weeks again and we will see”. Seems trivial, right? Well, sometimes an innocent and honest response can determine the quality of your relationships. And you know what? I’m still learning to just live with it. As they say, people come and go…

Now, I don’t want you to think that I don’t care. Remember when I said I’m a people’s please in the first sentence? I do care probably a bit to much to be honest, that’s why I’m here writing about it.

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Same goes for the business of blogging. The power of saying no to the collaborations that won’t serve your brand is so overlooked! Just in the last year or so, I started to be way more selective when it comes to my blog partnerships and let me tell you, it goes a long way. By saving time for only those posts that you really want to share on your blog or Instagram (whether sponsored or not), you will ultimately invest in a way better quality content that people will surely appreciate. Trust me, I’ve seen great results by doing so!

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Top + sunglasses by A’GACI

SHOP

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If I want you to take away anything from this post is to remember that your time is priceless. It should only be up to YOU to decide how you use it. Don’t let other people/ friends determine if you’re making the most of it. Don’t even let them think that they can suggest how to set your priorities. I’m telling you this because I learned the hard way.

In most cases, caring too much about what others think of you will only hurt YOU in return.

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PL: Dzisiejszy post to pewna gleboka refleksja, ktora tkwi mi w glowie juz od jakies czasu. Mianowicie mam tu na mysli o mowieniu NIE. Jak czesto zdarza wam sie byc stanowczo asertywnym w stosunku do tych, ktorzy od was czegos chca? Jesli chodzi o mnie, to zdecydowanie jestem typem czlowieka ktory zawsze stara sie dogodzic innym, przy czym zazwyczaj sama siebie krzywdze. Mam 27 lat i powiem szczerze, ze dopiero przez ostatni rok zaczelam bardziej stawiac na swoim – czy to w zyciu zawodowym czy osobistym. Przez to jak mozecie sie domyslac, stracilam kilka znajomosci – zwlaszcza tutaj w Ameryce. Najgorsze jest to ze to zazwyczaj rozchodzi sie o blahostki. Tez tak macie?

Ja cierpliwosc mam tylko jedna, a nie wspomne juz o czasie o ktorego wszyscy sie zawsze dopominaja – jakby byl ich. Z wiekiem staram sie jednak poswiecac wieksza uwage na to w jaki sposob nim rozporzadzam. Bo czas jest w zyciu jednak bezcenny i warto o tym pamietac.

Nie chcialam tutaj zabrzmiec wynosnie czy zarozumiale, to chyba po prostu kwestia tego ze dojrzewam powoli do mysli ze nie da sie w zyciu wszystkim dogodzic. Wiec po co sie w ogole przejmowac? O ile czuje sie komfortowo we wlasnej skorze i nie robie nikomu krzywdy umyslnie, nikt sie nie powinien dopominac sie zmian w moim zyciu. Zgadzacie cie?

 

How’s your power of saying no?

 

blog post signature Napa blogger Shenska

 

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22 Comments

  1. Asha Raval wrote:

    What a fabulous and empowering post!!! As I grow older saying NO is so important and has made me much happier too! Thank you for the inspiration!

    xox

    Asha

    Published 2.27.18
    Reply
    • Paulina wrote:

      Thank you for reading, my dear! I’m so happy to see you can relate. xoxo

      Published 2.27.18
      Reply
  2. I agree 100%! It’s better to have less people (but good and honest) around you than huge group of “friends” (who simply don’t care about you). Quality over quantity 🙂
    Pictures are amazing – feeling spring all over <3

    Published 2.27.18
    Reply
    • Paulina wrote:

      I wish I knew that when I was way younger!

      Published 2.27.18
      Reply
  3. I love the positive vibe of these photographs.

    It matches the message of the post so well.

    Plus, you look so pretty here!

    I do agree with you. Saying no is so important!

    Published 2.27.18
    Reply
    • Paulina wrote:

      Thank you so much Ivana for your sweet comment! So happy to see you enjoyed this post!

      Published 2.27.18
      Reply
  4. Shauna wrote:

    Love what you wrote and these photos are gorgeous. Thanks for this honest post!

    Shauna

    http://www.lipglossandlace.net

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  5. Jessica wrote:

    love your style girl!

    xo,
    Jess

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  6. Jenny wrote:

    LOVED this post and your outfit!! The glasses are amazing and really pop with this minimal outfit x

    Jenny | Krystel Couture X

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  7. mel wrote:

    Saying no is definitely so powerful! You look so gorgeous and carefree! I love the shots!

    xx, mel
    http://melinspired.com/perfect-bra-panties/

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  8. Time IS priceless! We have to choose our “yes’s” wisely. I’m glad you learned the value of saying no – it’s hard to do, especially when you don’t want to upset people.

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  9. This is so relevant for leading a prioritized life. Thanks for sharing your experiences ❤

    Published 2.28.18
    Reply
  10. Totally agree!! such a great post dear!! Thanks for sharing this vibes!!
    xx
    Mónica Sors
    MES VOYAGES À PARIS
    NEW POST: STREET STYLE: MY MIX AND MATCH
    DON’T MISS: MY MORNING ROUTINE WITH RITUALS

    Published 3.1.18
    Reply
  11. Ashley wrote:

    I’m so with you- I say no in the blog space WAY more than I say yes! It just has to be a good fit, and the brand/org has to be willing to work WITH you!

    -Ashley
    Le Stylo Rouge

    Published 3.1.18
    Reply
  12. love your perspective! these pictures in the flower fields are stunning!
    kelseybang.com

    Published 3.1.18
    Reply
  13. jacqueline wrote:

    YAS girl love this post! It’s important to say yes to the things you need to make time for in life and no for the ones that don’t benefit you!

    Published 3.1.18
    Reply
  14. Brooke wrote:

    You are spot on! I’m a people pleaser too, and worry about hurting people’s feelings, so I often wouldn’t say no. However, I too have been embracing the power of saying no when I really don’t want to do something and it’s great!

    Brooke
    pumps and push-ups

    Published 3.1.18
    Reply
  15. Amy Arnold wrote:

    Gorgeous photos! No is so hard to say, but I’m learning too. Sometimes you have to say so to be able to say yes to something more important.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

    Published 3.2.18
    Reply
  16. Ruth wrote:

    I love these photos! Saying no is hard to learn but it really is essential for you!

    http://www.mylittlenest.org

    Published 3.2.18
    Reply
  17. Jessica wrote:

    This is such an inspiring read dear. Saying NO indeed is a powerful way to protect yourself, set boundaries, and knowing your worth. Also, you look so lovely on your photos! Nicely done!
    Uniqlo is one of my favorite brands too. They’re comfy and really high quality. I have to check out this bra, looks really comfy and sexy on you dear! Thanks for sharing!

    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

    Published 3.3.18
    Reply
  18. Zorica wrote:

    Beautifully written.
    Love the photo selection.
    xx
    https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/

    Published 3.5.18
    Reply
  19. Jessi Malay wrote:

    This is so important hun!! Thank you for sharing 🙂

    XO Jessi,
    https://jmalay.com/business-casual-meets-chic/

    Published 3.9.18
    Reply